Save You
Part of the Songfic Series. OA is Kelly Clarkson. Save You I can tell, I can tell how much you hate this. And deep down inside, you know it's killing me. I can call, wish you well, and try to change this. But nothing I can say will change anything! "I can't believe it!" "Adderclaw, it's fine....Rockstar knows how skilled you are and how much you want to be deputy!" He gives me a look through smoldering amber eyes. "Then why did he appoint Sandfur?" As my mate stalks off I sigh heavily. No one knows how much Adderfang wants to be deputy as much as I do. And the worst part is he believes that Rockstar doubts his loyalty and skill, that's why he wasn't advanced to deputy. I looks in the direction Adderclaw dissappeared off to and look up at the sky. "Please StarClan....help him." Where were my senses? I left them all behind... Why did I turn away.....away? "I can't believe you!" "Adderclaw, wait!" I put a paw on his shoulder and he spins around. "Wait for what? I can't believe you Frostfall! You sided with him! You're supposed to be on my side!" "Adderfang, just because I agreed with Sandfur about this battle doesn't mean-" Adderclaw's terrible expressions flusters me. "Well he's a good deputy!" I cry. Immediately I wish I could snatch the words back. Aderclaw jerks back as though he's been clawed. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open... "Fine." he growls. There's a glint in his eyes I've never seen before. "If he means that much to you you can have him." "Fine!" I exclaim, wondering why I'm suddenly so angry. "Fine!" he retorts. "Then I'll leave!" he stalks out. "No! Wait!" I yowl desperately. But it's too late. I wish I could save you. I wish I could say to you, I'm not going nowhere. I wish I could say to you, It's gonna be alright! "Can I lead a search patrol?" Rockstar gives me a sad look from the depths of his blue eyes. "Frostfall, it's been half a moon." he meows gently. "I don't think Adderclaw's coming back." I hang my head and murmer. "Yes Rockstar." He brushes his tail alongside my flank. "If you need me, come get me." I hear the sound of him leaping away. Sand fur gives a few words of comfort as well and then I am left alone. I growl. I was so stupid! I had to find Adderclaw, it was all my fault that he left. I wanted to tell him so many things...I wanted to say that I was sorry, that'd I'd never ever ever ''pick Sandfur over him, that everything would be okay.... I stared at the horizon, not even noticing when Cloudheart padded up to me, asked if I wanted to join a patrol, then left, bewildered, a few moments later. ''I didn't mean, didn't mean to leave you stranded. "Adderclaw!" I shriek. "Shh, not so loud!" he whispers. He's changed, but not much. The moonlight still makes his eyes gleam and his muscles still tense under his light brown pelt at noises. But he's a little thinner and one of his ears has a deep cut in it. "Why are you here?" I ask. "Are you coming home?!" He shakes his head and my heart falls. "But I want you to come with me." "Why?" me head spins. "Where?" His eyes glimmer in pride. "I have an army of rogues, we're going to take over the Clans! And you and I will be in charge and everything will be-" "Take over the Clans?!" I gasp in horror. "Yeah. Everything's messed up, the leader's can't tell the bad cats from the good cats. I can, I'll lead the Clans to greatness!" "You're mad." I state flatly. "Adderclaw...what have you become?" He hisses. "Fine. Just tell your puny leader this-we're coming. And when we do, we'll hit you fast and hard. Without mercy." I turn. "I'm glad you left. The last thing RiverClan needs is another crazy, power-hungry, fox-heart." He growls, melting back into the ngiht and I sprint home, chilled to the bone. Went away cuz I didn't wanna face the truth. Over the next few days I tried to convince myself that I had left the meeting because I was brave and Adderclaw had become a terrible cat. That wasn't true. I knew deep in my heart I had left because I couldn't face the fact that the tom I loved had turned into a monster. That's why I didn't tell Rockstar what had happened. Reaching out, reaching out for me empty handed. You don't know if I care, you're trying to find the proof. He sought me out, he wanted to be with me. Now he must think I hate him. I could never hate him, I hope he knows that. But he probably doesn't. There were times I wonder, could I have eased your pain? I should've done something. My mother used to tell me we all regre the things we did and we regret the things we didn't do. "Should've, could've, would've." ''she'd say. Then I wondered if I could still save Adderclaw, I could talk him out of this. Otherwise he'd surely get himself exiled or killed. ''Why did I turn away....away? Great Starclan, why did I let him go? I wish I could save you! I wish I could say to you, I'm not going nowhere... I run into him half a moon later. He looks at me like I'm a piece of rotten fresh-kill an apprentice has shoved under his nose and expects him to scarf down. "Adderclaw, I'm here to save you!" "What...?" he looks temporarily confused, then he growls. "I don't need saving. Especially not from you." He turns away and starts to walk off, but I trot next to him, keeping pace. "Yes you do. I can help you. Come back to the Clan with me, we can change Rockstar's mind and you can be deputy!" He stops. "It's not that! Of course I want to be deputy, but he alreayd picked Sandfur! That proves he thinks Sandfur is a better warrior then I am! I can't forgive him for that, even if he does make me deputy." "It's his opinion!" I cry. "It shouldn't matter!" "But it does Frostfall." he says, padding away again. "It does." I wish I could say to you It's gonna be alright....It's gonna be alright... It's gonna be alright....It's gonna be alright! I look at my paws. I didn't save him. I failed. Why couldn't Adderclaw just believe everything would be okay? Why did he have to be stubborn? We can pretend nothing's changed I could go on pretending like life's normal-without my mate. Or if I could somehow convince him to come back we could just forget any of this happened. Iggnorence is bliss. Pretend it's all the same....And there will be no pain It would be so much less painful. Less hearts would be broken, not as many nights spent awake and worrying. Tonight It's gonna be alright It'lll be okay, that's what I tell myself over the next few moons. It's gonna be alright! It'll be okay. That's what I tell myself as we get reports of cats dissappearing and high rogue activity levels. I'm not going nowhere I can't leave my Clan. I can't lose Adderclaw. I wish I could say to you Why couldn't I save you?! It's gonna be alright, '' That's what I tell myself as Rockstar announces we're going to battle these rogues and their infamous leader, Adder. ''It's gonna be alright.... That's what I tell myself as I get in battle formation with the rest of RiverClan. As I see the amber eyes of the light brown tom in front of the rogues. The leader. It's gonna be alright. Why couldn't I save you?!